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	<title>Ramblings of a Mad Man &#187; jokes</title>
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		<title>Mathematical Logic</title>
		<link>http://jeromemjohnson.com/93/mathematical-logic/</link>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 14 Jan 2010 11:52:17 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[jokes]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[A friend of mine sent me this!

This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience

Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud.<br/><br/><span class="readmore"><a href="http://jeromemjohnson.com/93/mathematical-logic/" title="Mathematical Logic">Continue Reading--33 words totally</a></span>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A friend of mine sent me this!</p>
<p>This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs. experience</p>
<p>Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud.<br />
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint&#8230;.it goes like this:</p>
<p>What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:</p>
<p>If:<br />
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z</p>
<p>is represented as:<br />
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.</p>
<p>Then:</p>
<p>H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K<br />
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% </p>
<p>and</p>
<p>K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E<br />
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%  </p>
<p>But,</p>
<p>A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E<br />
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%</p>
<p>And,</p>
<p>B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T<br />
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%</p>
<p>AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.</p>
<p>A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G<br />
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%</p>
<p>So, one can conclude with</p>
<p>mathematical certainty, that While Hard work  and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it&#8217;s the  Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.  </p>
<p>&#8216;REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE<br />
ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS<br />
ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM&#8217;</p>

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		<title>Just Fred (joke)</title>
		<link>http://jeromemjohnson.com/91/just-fred-joke/</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:34:21 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[jokes]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit,

so he asks the biker his name.

&#8216;Fred,&#8217; he replies.<br/><br/><span class="readmore"><a href="http://jeromemjohnson.com/91/just-fred-joke/" title="Just Fred (joke)">Continue Reading--1 words totally</a></span>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit,<br />
so he asks the biker his name.</p>
<p>&#8216;Fred,&#8217; he replies.</p>
<p>&#8216;Fred what?&#8217; the officer asks.</p>
<p>&#8216;Just Fred,&#8217; the man responds.</p>
<p>The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.</p>
<p>The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.  The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. &#8216;Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?&#8217;</p>
<p>The biker replies, &#8216;It&#8217;s a long story, so stay with me.&#8217;  I was born Fred Johnson.<br />
 I  studied hard and got good grades..  </p>
<p>When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor.  I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD.  After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school.</p>
<p>Dentistry was my dream!  Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.  </p>
<p>Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.  </p>
<p>Well, the  ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.  </p>
<p>Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD.  Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my  DDS  because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.</p>
<p>Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.&#8217;</p>
<p>The officer walked away in tears, laughing</p>

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